My last blog (which I wrote months ago!) was based on the perfect time to get married. I received many appreciations for giving a thought over this, but what I really enjoyed honestly was the criticism. They are your real readers.
In my previous blog, I had mentioned few points that you “may” consider before getting married. Among them the most criticized point was: “Do you really love the person you are dating right now?”
There were bunch of replies that asked, “Why would anybody date someone if they really don’t have any feelings for them?”
So, I would like to dedicate my this article to them who think that dating means both the participants are in love!
In 21st century, we live in a generation where we prefer free trial before purchasing any kind of product. We want to be 100% sure about the product before we become their loyal customer. Similar are the relationships these days.
Gone are those days when people used to fall in love at first sight and decide their whole future with that same person. Today, live-in-relationship is trending everywhere. One wants to check their compatibility with the other person before getting married. They say that it is important to know their compatibility. According to them, it is important for to know if their future is going to be happily ever after or full of sacrifices.
Compatibility has become more important than the feeling of love. Due to all the feminism and equality affairs, nobody wants to make any kind of compromise in their relationship. Our generation has adapted this mentality of, “Why to settle for less when we can have better option?”
We forget that it is going to be life long relation and not just any kind of job affair that people are looking forward for better opportunity. This sense of better opportunity leads them to date multiple individuals.
Now you need to understand that I’m not against dating. Everybody has their right to explore around. The only matter of concern is it should not affect any individual as long as both the partners are honest with each. One must keep their point of view clear on relationship. Because you may never realize if the other person is investing all their time and energy into building the relationship but the other one is just exploring options. This may hurt the other one very badly.
While you are dating someone, just give it a thought of why you both are together? There must be at least one thing about that person that made you attracted towards them. Then you started spending time together. Initially it starts with coffee dates or movie dates. The phase 1 involves less communication and more action. This is the phase when both the individuals are trying to make each other comfortable in their presence. The duration of phase 1 totally depends on the nature of the individuals.
Usually a person fails to understand the transition of phase 1 to phase 2 where activities are replaced by communication. Mid-night calls are replacing the beauty sleep! Stay focused in this phase. Because this is the only phase where you actually get to know the real person.
You’ll realize how much pocket money you have wasted on that “romantic comedy” movies where as the favorite genre of that individual is “mystery thriller”. High chances of sharing some dark secrets are possible.
Slowly the “attraction” of phase 1 converts into “interest” of stage 2. It is not necessary that one will find the other individual interesting. This is the phase where you will realize if it’s worth continuing the date & try to know each other more or should you stop. Because it is better to tell the truth rather than giving someone false hopes and forcing any kind of feelings.
Make sure whatever the decision you make is mutual. You should respect if any kind of disagreement arises and sort out the issue. Try to make your point clear. You may encounter a situation where you are not able to find the opposite person of your interest. May be because they portrayed a fake impression on your mind earlier but now you have realized that they are not the same person as you had met before.
In this case, gather up your courage & tell them honestly how you feel. You should always know when to say “NO” and stop anything that is happening in your life without your concern.
Phase 2 is successful when obviously you know who the real person is and accept them with all their flaws. They are still interesting for you.
Love is really a slow process. Sometimes even a lifetime fall short when it comes about knowing an individual completely. It is not something that happens overnight. Give it some time & let it do its MAGIC.
If you are dating the same person, even after 30 years, who was in your mind constantly while reading this article, then dear friend, CONGRATULATIONS! you have already found the one.